HE AIN'T HEAVY, HE'S MY BROTHER

so my 47 year old brother joe calls me from the ambulance cuz he passed out at work and they take him to baylor...you'll understand why i mentioned the age in a little bit...i'm tasked with going to meet him since my office is right down the street from the hospital...when i arrive nurse focker is busy taking his vitals...again, if i new how to post a picture i would put the one i snapped of him in his hospital gown...downright scary...so the nurse leaves and i'm like what happened dude and he says he had a coughing fit at work and he passed out...so i ax him when was the last time he had a regular checkup...he says by regular do you mean going once a month....WTF...no i mean once a year ass munch!...how about NEVER...he's 47 and has never had a regular checkup...so he says he's only 30lbs overweight...aaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...he's 270lbs and he's only 30lbs overweight...what fantasyland is he living in...god if you could have seen the look on my face...then, nurse focker comes back in and he proceeds to tell nurse focker that he's only 20lbs overweight...like the nurse can't see for himself how overweight the patient is???!!!!...and where did those other 10lbs go...he lost 10lbs from the time he talked to me till the time he talked to the nurse...unfuckingbelievable...i spent 2 hrs fussing at him...i bet he wished he hadn't called me...then, my sister ginger comes by and we go get sister joe's truck from his job (we call my brothers sisters)...of course i have to drive his truck...there's no air conditioner and the truck smells of sweat...i was so disgusted!!!...so there i am trying to drive this truck and look cute and still text msg everyone the updates on the hospital visit...i'm sure i ran several red lights and the camera captured my plate number...oh, well...it's not my truck...hee-hee...we get back to the hospital and of course sister joe's gf carmen has arrived...now this is a broad that he swears he's gonna break up with but she's his emergency contact at work and they've been "breaking up" for 3 years...oh, well...then, all the blood work and xrays come back so there was no heart attack or diabetes...he just had a "panic" attack...can someone say Tony Soprano...of course they tell him to check with his regular doctor asap...so, we packed up from the hospital and went to the angry dog and had huge cheeseburgers...that's all i've got!